Personal Bill of Rights for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

5 minute read

Are you no longer sure what your rights are as a human being? Have you been brainwashed by one who purportedly ‘loves you’ into believing that you, in fact, have none? If you have been in an abusive relationship with a pathological relationship, these questions will surely resonate for you. It’s time to reassert your rights gorgeous one. Clarify for yourself what these are with your Personal Bill of Rights for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery.

Inequity of power, freedom, fairness, justice, peace, and access to basic human needs are sadly part of the human condition. The Declaration of Human Rights of 1948 took a stand in beginning to address this by cementing the absolute and fundamental rights due to each and every human being.

This will be no news to you. You will be in some way familiar with these basic human rights. And if you are an individual who does not have Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Anti-social Personality Disorder, you will wholeheartedly support their incontrovertible validity.

And yet, here you are.

It’s telling don’t you think? That you find yourself in a space where you’re not entirely sure any more what your rights are.

Do you know why? Because you have systematically been programmed by another whose entitlement is such that they believe they alone can determine what your basic human rights may, and mostly may not, be.

If you are undecided gorgeous one as to whether you are suffering abuse or not, let this be the evidence you need to set yourself free.

What you would unquestioningly afford others, is in no way less relevant for you.

If you’ve already taken steps to reclaim your freedom, and are working through your healing, let this Personal Bill of Rights for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery be your guide and reminder of where you’ve come from and where you are going to. A place where no person can determine for you what entitlement you have to basic human rights. They are yours. Inalienably, yours.

Personal Bill of Rights for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

I have the right to be happy.
I have the right to be free.
I have the right to feel good.
I have the right be loved.
I have the right to be healthy.
I have the right to put myself first.
I have the right to feel safe physically, psychologically, emotionally, sexually, and mentally.
I have the right to a life where survival mode kicks in for necessary circumstances only, rather than this being a permanent state of existence.
I have the right to live a life devoid of fear, obligation, and guilt.
I have the right to say no. Without explanation or defending my reasons.
I have the right to decide what I want and need.
I have the right to ask for what I want and need.
I have the right to feel whatever I feel. Whether this be positive and welcome to others, or perceived as negative by others. All my emotions are valid.
I have the right to express what I feel, both positive and negative emotions when I do so with mindful, respectful intent.
I have the right to determine what is and isn’t good for me.
I have the right to my own beliefs, faith, values, and standards.
I have the right to make decisions based on my own beliefs, faith, values, standards, feelings, or any other reason I choose.
I have the right to make my own priorities based on my beliefs, faith, values, standards, feelings, or any other reason I choose.
I have a right to establish and follow through on mental, physical, emotional, spiritual and sexual boundaries.
I have the right to follow through with my decisions without defending or explaining why my wants and needs are valid.
I have the right to grant myself approval without others affirming whether my reasoning is valid.
I have the right to do things that others do not approve of.
I have the right to my own reality, without others affirming its validity.
I have the right to trust myself.
I have the right to express my views respectfully, irrespective of whether this disagrees with the view of others.
I have the right to ask questions.
I have the right to grieve for any losses, including the losses of not having my needs met.
I have the right to determine who I choose to allow in my life.
I have the right to remove myself from any situation or person (including partners, family members, and long-standing friends). As I see fit.
I have the right to share as little (including none) or as much information about myself with others as I choose.
I have the right to be heard and listened to.
I have the right to expect honesty and integrity from others.
I have the right to expect to be treated with respect and dignity.

I have the right to refuse to take responsibility for the actions and behaviours of others. These are not mine to own.
I have the right to be unsure and to say ‘I don’t know’.
I have the right to change my mind.
I have the right to change and grow as a person.
I have the right to make mistakes.
I have the right to be flawed, imperfect, and remain 100% loveable and worthy.
I have the right to forgive myself.
I have the right to forgive, or to not forgive others. That choice is mine.
I have the right to reach for my loftiest dreams. Unimpeded by the fear of others.
I have the right to choose what I will do with my one, precious life.
I have the right to know that I am enough, without the need to do anything, or meet the needs of anyone. I am enough just by being me.
Unequivocally, I have the right to be me.

For more on recovering from narcissistic abuse and reclaiming your freedom & joy, read:

Dear gorgeous ones, please share what you would add to these rights, and any other thoughts, experiences and insights on these issues in the comments below. The more we share, the more we teach & help one another in reclaiming our freedom.

With gratitude,

Maggie x

Bibliography

United Nations. (1948). The Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Retrieved from http://www.un.org/en/universal-declaration-human-rights/

My Personal Bill of Rights

1. I don’t walk on eggshells.
2. I allow people I love to be upset with me.
3. I already have permission to speak or not.
4. I don’t give away my resources when I need to use them for myself.
5. I talk about things interesting to me.
6. I don’t chase cats.
7. I may use any and all resources given to me, owned by me, loaned to me, or publicly available to me.
8. When I love someone, I share both good and bad things about myself.
9. Relationships don’t need to be held together at all costs.
10. I ignore distractions and focus on the real issue.
11. Accusations of abuse are taken seriously, investigated appropriately, and resolved.
12. There is no need to have proof for or to justify my own thoughts and feelings.
13. I can be right or wrong, and it doesn’t matter. I decide when and whether to audit the rightness or wrongness myself.
14. It is not by anyone else’s permission that I am allowed my personal rights. I take them.
15. I have a right to my own learning curve.
16. I don’t load the gun pointed at me.
17. I don’t have to do/stop doing anything to make anyone else “OK.”
18. I can fold my way to victory
19. It’s not my job to satisfy you
20. Nobody has to agree with me
21. There’s no rush. I allow myself and others time.
22. I trust me and I behave in a manner that is worthy of my own trust.
23. I have the love of God, the love of myself, and the love of others. No efforts of mine to be loved are helpful. Whether others love me or not is none of my business.
24. I become aware of what I need and what I want. Self-care is to meet those needs, work toward wants, and to ask for help so I can meet them myself. (Tweak? Receiving care?)
25. I don’t, can’t, and won’t fix it if I didn’t break it.
26. I set limits on myself and I move my own feet. Its by my own choice if/when/how I share my limits. I don’t issue ultimatums.
27. My relationships are not a place for anyone to hide.
28. I am not a medication. My relationships are not a medication.
29. I don’t do fire drills. I don’t rehearse panic.
30. I focus on one thing at a time— my priority.
31. I tolerate the gap
32. I say both yes and no freely and thoughtfully
33. The game goes on, with or without another.
34. It’s not my responsibility to manage the discomfort or perceived inconvenience of others.

One thought

not THAT girl says:

February 14, 2020 at 6:30 am

My Personal Bill of Rights

1. I don’t walk on eggshells.
2. I allow people I love to be upset with me.
3. I already have permission to speak or not.
4. I don’t give away my resources when I need to use them for myself.
5. I talk about things interesting to me.
6. I don’t chase cats.
7. I may use any and all resources given to me, owned by me, loaned to me, or publicly available to me.
8. When I love someone, I share both good and bad things about myself.
9. Relationships don’t need to be held together at all costs.
10. I ignore distractions and focus on the real issue.
11. Accusations of abuse are taken seriously, investigated appropriately, and resolved.
12. There is no need to have proof for or to justify my own thoughts and feelings.
13. I can be right or wrong, and it doesn’t matter. I decide when and whether to audit the rightness or wrongness myself.
14. It is not by anyone else’s permission that I am allowed my personal rights. I take them.
15. I have a right to my own learning curve.
16. I don’t load the gun pointed at me.
17. I don’t have to do/stop doing anything to make anyone else “OK.”
18. I can fold my way to victory
19. It’s not my job to satisfy you
20. Nobody has to agree with me
21. There’s no rush. I allow myself and others time.
22. I trust me and I behave in a manner that is worthy of my own trust.
23. I have the love of God, the love of myself, and the love of others. No efforts of mine to be loved are helpful. Whether others love me or not is none of my business.
24. I become aware of what I need and what I want. Self-care is to meet those needs, work toward wants, and to ask for help so I can meet them myself. (Tweak? Receiving care?)
25. I don’t, can’t, and won’t fix it if I didn’t break it.
26. I set limits on myself and I move my own feet. Its by my own choice if/when/how I share my limits. I don’t issue ultimatums.
27. My relationships are not a place for anyone to hide.
28. I am not a medication. My relationships are not a medication.
29. I don’t do fire drills. I don’t rehearse panic.
30. I focus on one thing at a time— my priority.
31. I tolerate the gap
32. I say both yes and no freely and thoughtfully
33. The game goes on, with or without another.
34. It’s not my responsibility to manage the discomfort or perceived inconvenience of others.